Hands

He jumped the stream and walked the pond
He camped and lived across the cold
He searched the woods with bare feet and soul
He started a fire with but one piece of burnt coal
To bring home the fruit that they knew he would
To help grow a tree that they thought he should

Nothing showed up until that day
When time caught up in a sneaky way
Suddenly the years had bruised his grace
With marks of life all over his face

For both those hands that had once fought
With bold certitude, despite thoughts distraught
Have now lost their strength and all their shine
For all those oceans and the divine
You, Your eyes and all of Your shoulders
Are all that is left to scale those boulders

For time too will catch up with you
With unmoving thoughts of those frail hands...

-Me

The Calling

I visited home for 3 weeks and these were 3 dense weeks. Everything about it was good, but what sticks with me as a memory is this 1 day that I visited a temple. After a six hour long journey we reached Nathdwara in Rajasthan. This is the location of Lord Shrinathji. I had been there once before I came to the US in 2001, but that was nothing compared to what I experienced this time around. We reached there in the middle of the night and found ourselves a decent place to rest. Our stay was going to be for 1 day and 2 nights.

Darshan (the act of viewing and praying to Lord Krishna) typically starts at 5:15am and ends at 7:00pm. It is broken down into various phases - Mangal, Shrungar, Gval, Rajbhog, Utthapan, Aarti, Shayan. Each Darshan opens for only ~45 minutes. And that makes the darshan more prized and revered. Hoards of believers from all over the globe gather each day to catch a single glimpse of the Lord and pray. They say that you don't visit the temple, but the 'Lord calls you' and hence it is not everyone's destiny. Not all are destined for His Darshan.

At the end of this one day, the one profound realization that I had was that people of varied socio-economic statures were truly and wholly immersed in prayers and offerings, in the complete sense of the words - 'faith' and 'belief'. This is not that first time it was happening in front of me, but it sure was the first time I realized it so deeply. The fact that they were true believers. They were not chanting slokas half-heartedly, struggling to find the right prayers and getting distracted by the surroundings. On the contrary, they believed in that God which was standing in front of them. They believed that He was their guiding star. And that is overwhelmingly powerful. True Belief is life altering. Absolutely nothing can empower one more. They were talking to God. Shouting for his blessings. They truly believed in his presence - with them, near them, in them, within those walls, at that time. Such transcendent belief, irrepective of religion and race, is more empowering than anything else one must experience. To know and truly believe that He is with you.

I only walked against the out-flow of people, after I had exited, back into the Mandir, to catch one last glimpse of the Lord before we left, so that I could imprint His image in my mind, feel his aura around me and strenghten my belief each time I close my eyes; never to forget, with a desperate hope of being called again.

-Me

An Old Tune

Wanted to share another piece of recording that Hasnain and I collaborated on, a while back in June 2006, without much prior preparation. It was pretty much a 5 min attempt at relaxing ourselves at the end of the day.

Its not the best sound quality and I apologize for that, but its a sample. This one was recorded at 5 pm at the back of one of our office labs in an isolated RF Cage (broadly meant for radio frequency testing). The only reason behind using that spot was that we thought we could manage to go un-noticed. We got caught-in-the-act by our boss that evening and had to compensate for it, and that's another story, but it was all in good spirit. Hope you enjoy our attempt.

Dooba Dooba H&A

-Me

Disclaimer - Any obvious vocal artifacts are because of the lossy audio compression algorithm!

A puzzle behind the cereal box

Some of the most significant moments are often disguised as subtle, piecewise happenings that are seemingly disjoint in nature. The hope is that you connect the dots, in time. There is an underlying movement, a well orchestrated conspiracy, to aid these realizations which paradoxically requires a pre-existing state of mental consciousness. A state that transforms perspective, thought and resolve.

The more sapient people are those that exhibit life within these layers and in these states. They realize and more importantly register what it means - Not to hang on to a feeling, but to move past it.

-Me

Time Time Time ...What has become of me?

Last Saturday, five of us friends decided to go watch OSO. Pretty reasonable idea, wouldn't you say? I mean, its Saturday evening and SRK has yet again stood right in front of our faces, exploded his personality more than his character and guaranteed success. Who does that nowadays....seriously.....now, there's only warranties that too limited time ones. We reach the venue and as expected, the theatre runs out of tickets. So, we really think through this one and decide on waiting for some time more to watch Saawariya. (Hell Yeah! Bring it on, baby!). The fact that we were somehow undercharged per ticket by a cashier error, softened the blow, but this just shows that fortune does favor the bold and the foolish. All you need is a little faith and lack of sound judgement. In summary, I was just not wired right to get the movie, but it did seem that Salman was the only one who knew exactly what the audience wanted. He spoke less, was quick to come and did not dawdle to entertain.

Anyways, we had an hour to kill before the movie began. So, we decided to go to a near by Denny's. It was bitter cold outside. All of us sat down and I ordered 3 hot chocolates, 1 french and 1 vanilla cappuccino, which the waitress very perspicaciously pointed out is just one flavor, a.k.a. French Vanilla. "BLAST!! Damn you vile woman", I said in my head! Well, I drink coffee like nobody's business, but how the hell did I mess this one up??? I was super embarrassed and mortified at my moronic display of mental presence and my friends had their share of entertainment even before the movie had begun.

The order arrived and we all started sipping our respective cups, while one of us comes up with a question - What do each of you think would be your dream job? The banality of the question, initially, put me to sleep. The underlying assumption was that we had to provide an answer without worrying about any practical limitations. Everyone carefully thought through the question and the responses were pretty revealing. Between four (out of five) of us professionals our answers ranged from being a rockstar to a politician to a social worker to a socialite. We analyzed a little more of what appealed to each of us for the specific choices we had made that evening. The conversation turned pretty interesting and soon it was time to cut the check and leave. But, here's the kicker....None of us, even for a brief moment, considered being an Engineer. And that...is what we are.

Ofcourse, the next two hours was a vertigo enough to forget all that ever prevailed, but somehow....the thought remains. The ever haunting resemblance between dreams and reality is that both are so very easily numbed. Sometimes, even forgotten. The only realization that is left...is of time. Here's an ode with clinking flutes and dripping bubbly to all those Rockstars, Politicians, Social Workers and Socialites.

-Me

Penumbra

In Shadow you will stand
That is where you belong
Lying down is a mirror
Who is who is there to consider

Take a step and I will follow
Forward, backward...onto the gallow
Run and I leap, stop and I breathe
Speak to me first and I will rule
Speak to me last and I will order

When its lucent, do not look for me
I will be right there, changing thee
The only epoch while I will not show
Is because now that day is black too, deep in your soul

-Me

A tune to remember

I had a pretty grueling and productive day at work. But it was just 15 minutes of the last 8 hours that made this day extra special. Hasnain, a talented friend of mine, is an awesome guitarist. He....understands music. Just the other day, he recorded a solo guitar track of his version of a song 'Jal Pari'.

On this crisp autumn afternoon, we both sat on the backseat of my car, plugged in a high precision microphone into a laptop and with a thin tissue in between myself and the microphone (for filtering purposes) recorded a separate track for my vocals. We ran a couple of rehearsals to get the timing just about right. Both tracks were later merged and Voila! We collaborated on this short piece of music.

The solo is brilliant and sets up the right mood for the song. I am elated just to be a part of it and would like to share this audio clip with you. Hope you enjoy it.

Jal-Pari H&A

-Me

Disclaimer - Any obvious vocal artifacts are because of the lossy audio compression algorithm!